


Glances, Blushes, Confusion, and Leadership.

by KnightofSpace



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Borderline Personality Disorder, M/M, Other, i dont know, listen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-24 01:17:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10731162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightofSpace/pseuds/KnightofSpace
Summary: Shiro's back and Lance is acting very weird. He keeps blushing, clocking out of reality and just sitting in deep thought after Keith bumps into him on accident. Shiro decides to talk to him about it because it seems to really be troubling Lance...and he thinks he knows what's going on. (Written before season 3 aired edited after s3 aired and 2 weeks before season 4)9/30/17: updated! finally!





	Glances, Blushes, Confusion, and Leadership.

“Okay, team. We need to get serious. What is the new plan going to be? We don’t have very many options left.” Shiro talked over everyone, calming everyone down.

Everyone on the ship stopped to look at Shiro and then at each other. They didn’t have a plan. They all thought Shiro was the planner.

Except for Allura.

“Shiro, we cannot take on Lotor and the Galra empire alone. I believe building the foundations of a coalition and inviting many other planets to join the fight against the Galra is our best option. We already have a few races that are just a call away if they are in danger.” Allura sounded assured.

Everyone’s face lit up, this idea was brilliant. It was probably the actual only logical option team voltron had next anyway. Shiro smiled, proud of Allura and glad she was the one that got to carry on her father’s legacy.

“That’s great, Allura. Call us back when you’ve figured out an idea of who we will invite and what the overall plan against the Galra is. Everyone else, think of ways we can get the upper hand on Lotor. We don’t know anything about this guy, and he could be dangerous. I’m counting on you.”

“Gotcha.” said Pidge. She started walking off to her mini control room. Her laptop was there, along with some items shes gathered over the course of their adventures.

“Yup. on it.” Hunk suddenly looked deep in thought and started humming very loudly. He placed his fingers on his chin, and moved his head around at different angles, looking deep in thought.

“OH! I know! I’m gonna go bake something with the mice. I’ll be sure to come up with something good while I’m at my happiest. C’mon little buddies.”

The mice jumped into Hunk’s palm and up his arm onto his shoulder. They all left the room, going to the kitchen.

Keith stood to the side, impatient. His eyes were looking down at the floor, and were intense. He noticed everyone leaving the room or forming groups to talk in. No one was offering up the most obvious idea. Of course they had to go straight to Lotor and get him while he’s not as strong. This was the absolute BEST plan at the moment…but…the possibility of Shiro’s disapproval held his tongue back.

“Hey, Allura, I know some pretty cool mermaids that would be amazing for the coalition. What do you say we visit them? Any time is cool with me.” Lance smirked.

Mermaids? Keith thought. Typical lance.

“MERMAIDS?!” Allura’s expression brightened and a big smile came on her face. “I would LOVE to meet mermaids!”

“Yup! Pretty AND deadly! Perfect for team voltron.” Lance responded.

Keith rolled his eyes and let out a groan. This is not the conversation that’s supposed to be happening right now.

“I once visited a planet inhabited by mermaids back in my day. Now mind you, they weren’t friendly. I’m lucky to have even gotten out alive! You see, I had gone with-“ Coran began was sounded like it was going to be a long story.

Keith became more and more frustrated until, he exploded.

“We don’t have time for this.” Keith mumbled. “Lotor is not his father, who knows what this guy is like. We can’t sit here and think up a plan or waste time gathering a hundred different planets for some huge battle, we need to move NOW, Shiro.”

Keith shoved forward, trying to join the circle of ridiculous mermaid talk. He stood next to Lance now. His hand directly brushing against Lance’s as he moved to cross his arms.

Keith was surprised at the awkward feeling and quickly moved over away from lance in the subtlest of ways.

Lance had also taken notice of Keith’s touch. His immediate reaction was to pull his hand away. He looked down at their hands and then at keith, in surprise. He held his own hand in his other while he looked the other way.

It was weird...It felt like Keith was the only one in the room all of a sudden. Like Lance was hyper aware of Keith’s presence. He wondered if Keith was looking at him. Or if he had looked at him.

Shiro noticed the exchange, and looked just a few seconds longer at Lance.

Lance looked back at Keith, ready to confront the awkwardness in a joking way. To make the feelings disappear and make it seem like their everyday bickering.

“HEY! Woah woah woah woah, why are you so close to me? Give me some space, Keith.” Lance couldn’t deliver this line without feeling the heat rush up to his face. Was it getting hot in here? Why was he blushing? Oh god what if Keith SEES him turning red?

Keith, trying to keep his focus on Shiro as best as he could, hesitated in replying. He took a few seconds to turn to face lance and respond to his question.

“Uh…I-I did. I moved over. Sorry. I didn’t mean to bump into you…I was just worked up...” Keith turned to look at Shiro again, “Because Lotor is still out there. And he’s got all the time WE waste to go get stronger and get his own allies.” Keith was focused on Lotor and Shiro again.

“What if something happens while were here? What if something happens to other planets while were trying to get OTHER planets to join?” Keith tested Shiro, facing him directly.

Shiro took a deep breath, and looked straight at Keith.

“Keith, I understand that you’re worried for the fate of those who fall to the galra empire’s new…emperor. But there is nothing we can do now but form a plan. You’re right, we don’t know who or what kind of person this Lotor guy is. We don’t know how to fight him or how to reason with him. Our only option is to wait and gather up what and who we can. Don’t worry. The princess is amazing at formulating plans and she works very hard. If she comes across a problem I’m sure she will get it solved in no time. For now, we can only wait.” Shiro’s eyes did not move from Keith’s. They were not angry, just reassuring and calming. His breath steady.

Keith stood there a few more seconds. He was tempted to continue the argument but did not want to question or disrespect Shiro’s opinion or authority.

“Fine.” Keith backed down. “I’ll try to think up some ideas.”

He began to walk out of the room, obviously very agitated, but composed. He stopped, realizing he could still feel the brush of Lance’s hand on his own. His skin still tingled from the contact.

He turned to face Lance. “Uh…sorry…again, Lance.”

Lance had been standing silently, staring at the floor, deep in thought. At Keith’s mention of his name, he looked up and changed his demeanor quickly. His eyes lit up, his shoulders became straight, and his familiar smirk reappeared on his lips.

“Yeah I said give me some space. Apology accepted.” Lance smiled and lifted his chin in confidence. He crossed his arms and puffed out his chest.

Keith groaned then walked out of the room.

Everyone else in the room had already dispersed and were in their own conversations. Pidge had a group of guests gathered around her as she explained her many treasures to them and gushed about how cool they were.

Shiro looked around the room, observing everybody, making sure there was no more leader things to do. He was exhausted and wanted to rest. But if anyone wasn’t on board with the rest of the crew, he needed to avert his attention there. Everyone seemed ok, but then Shiro’s eyes fell on Lance.

Lance stood in the same spot as earlier, still holding the hand that keith’s hand had touched. He held it lower, and rubbed the spot that still felt tingly. He looked down at the floor, deep in thought. His face slightly red.

Knowing that Keith had bumped into Lance on that same spot earlier, Shiro began to wonder. Lance had been acting very strange lately. He had especially been acting very strange around Keith. He still fought with Keith but it was less genuine now. There was something there that wasn’t there before. Keith had even told Shiro that they had become closer and bickered less while he was gone. Keith GUSHED to Shiro about how great it was to finally have a friend in Lance. So much that he almost thought Keith had found a new boy to crush on. So why was Lance going back to what they used to be? It was like Lance was TRYING his hardest to be mad at Keith and to keep up a facade.

In between the whole “ladies man” Lance that Shiro knows, this one-sided rivalry that Lance has always had with Keith, the stronger bond and ability to work together they had built up while he was gone, and the constant awareness of anything Keith lately, Shiro was pretty sure he knew what was going on with Lance. He honestly couldn’t believe it. Could it really be? No, actually he could believe it. He thought of his suspicions of Keith being confirmed and wondered if Lance had a clue about Keith. Or if Keith had a clue about Lance.

Shiro looked back at Lance, still spaced out. Something was different about Lance though. He wasn’t acting the same as Keith was…

“…Lance? You ok?” Shiro finally asked.

Lance’s face shot up, his hand still holding his other.

Shiro looked down to Lance’s hands and back up to Lance’s eyes.

Lance looked down at his hands, as if he had forgotten he was even holding and rubbing his touched hand.

“OH!” He immediately seperated his hands and crossed his arms instead. “Yeah! I’m great. We all need to think of a plan, right? Aye Aye, captain.” Lance turned around and took his leave.

Shiro stood alone, watching after Lance as he left. Something was up with Lance and he had a good feeling that he knew what it was. Shiro was still as he watched the door close behind Lance.

Lance was obviously unfamiliar with the situation. He wasn’t like Keith, able to be composed and confident. Shiro wondered if his suspicions about Lance were correct…

________________________________________

After making sure there were no other leader things to do, Shiro decided he would try to talk to Lance about whats been keeping him so distracted. Lance needs to have his head in the game now that Lotor is in charge. Anything could happen, and Lance being distracted this way was no good for the team, let alone himself.

Shiro was torn. He knew this was a problem Lance should come to realize himself but…Lance also had no one else to talk to about this issue. No frame of reference for what was going on. It must be scary, and Shiro felt like the only one that could possibly help right now. Lance wasn’t going to talk to KEITH about it was he? Would he have enough trust and confidence to tell Hunk? Pidge? Allura? CORAN?

He really couldn’t see any of those conversations going well. Plus, the fear of judgement is a strong one. Especially when you have to spend your every waking moment with someone.

To deal with this kind of issue, alone, and in space! Shiro could only imagine. Lance must be having a hard time figuring it all out. He must feel like he’s alone, and like he can’t reach out to anyone. But Shiro wanted to change that.

The same door Lance had left from opened, making a satisfying electronic sound.

Shiro waited there. In the doorway, looking for any signs of Lance. And hoping to not barge in on Lance immediately with such a heavy topic.

There Lance was, leaning against some boxes. His arms were still crossed and he was still looking down to the floor. He was deep in thought. Shiro noticed as he dropped his arms to feel his hand again.

Shiro continued to stand in the doorway, silently. He debated if he should actually talk to Lance. What if he was wrong and Lance was bothered by something else? What if it just isn’t his place to have this conversation with Lance? He wasn’t sure.

But Shiro is the leader of the group. His job is to keep everyone level headed, like minded, and together. To be someone that everyone can rely on. And he hadn’t necessarily been doing that for Lance.He was going to talk to him.

Shiro took a deep breath and quickly changed his worried brow and frown into a smile and a wave. “Hey, Lance!”

Lance noticed Shiro’s voice, confused that he had missed the sound of the door opening. He seperated his hands, quickly crossed his arms again, looked up, and mirrored Shiro’s forced smile.

“Oh! Shiro! What’s up? You need some materials? Or…whatever is in these boxes? I was just chillin here thinkin’ up an awesome plan that everyone’s gonna love. I’m gonna come up with a plan so amazing that even Galra women will fall for me.” He flashed a smile.

“Have you ever seen a Galra woman? I haven’t. Or maybe I have? I wonder what’s up with that.” Lance trailed off.

Shiro added another thing to his mental list of “reasons I’m probably right about Lance.”

“No I was just…I was…I just wanted to talk to you. About you know, normal things.” Shiro pushed out.

Lance stood still, confused.

“What, we can’t talk about normal things? Like um…how’s the weather?” He smiled awkwardly, trying to keep up this pre-act to bonding.

Lance furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, looking to the huge windows on the side of the room and back to Shiro very slowly. “Non-existent? We’re in space, Shiro.”

(Good job, Shiro) Shiro thought to himself.

“Are you okay, Shiro?” Lance asked. Still concerned.

Shiro nodded his head very subtly to answer Lance.

“…right…um…listen, Lance. Is anything…bothering you? You seem kind of out of it lately.” Shiro was no good at the pre-act, so he skipped straight to the bonding. This was a sensitive subject and it wasn’t necessarily happening “naturally”. He just wanted Lance to have someone to talk to about this.

“What? Bothering ME? No way! Nothing could ever bother me. I am a mountain to the wind.” Lance paused. “That’s a slight Mulan reference. Y’know, the emperor. Mulan is one of my favorite disney princesses.”

Shiro laughed. “Mulan IS my favorite disney princess. But that’s a conversation for another time.” Shiro paused to think of how to phrase the next things he wanted to say.

“Listen. That’s great that you’re confident but sometimes you need to take a step back and realize that you aren’t always able to carry everything on your shoulders. If you pile up too many things on your back, some stuff can fall off, you could lose your balance, it’ll give you this terrible awful feeling in your chest, and it could seriously damage your shoulders. It’s ok to rely on people when you find that you have a bit more baggage than you had originally intended. We’re a team here. All of us. We all carry each other’s baggage. Whether we want to or not. That’s the great part about being on a team. So, if you need help with the weight on your shoulders, don’t be afraid to talk to one of us.”

Lance moved his eyes from Shiro and turned them to the ground. His expression had gotten serious and he went into deep thought again.

Just as Shiro was planning on furthering the conversation, Lance took a deep breath and sighed.

A few seconds passed by.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything on your mind?” Shiro asked again.

Lance went back to crossing his arms. It was just in hesitation now. Like he was debating opening up to Shiro.

“There is but…I’m not…I don’t know if I’m ok with thinking about it too much right now…” Lance was starting to avoid eye contact.

Calmly, Shiro responded. “That’s fine. Take all the time you need. Just remember, no matter who you are or how you feel, you are still the Lance we know and love. The reliable Lance that always knows how to give us a much-needed laugh, and knows how to keep the team together even on rough days. And let’s not forget, our sharp shooter. That will never change, even if you discover new things about yourself.”

Lance was quiet, still deep in thought.

Shiro did not want to force Lance to talk about it, he just wanted to give him the push. If Lance mentioned anything Shiro was more than willing to have a conversation about it since Shiro was pretty sure he knew the problem. But he knows this is a sensitive subject, and pressuring Lance into it didn’t seem like the right thing to do.

After a good amount of silence from Lance, Shiro decided this was something Lance was still trying to figure out on his own. Shiro planned on leaving Lance with that piece of advice and hoping that Lance would talk to him soon.

Shiro started moving. He picked himself up from leaning on the boxes next to Lance and took a breath, ready to tell Lance he was going back to his room if he needed him.

“Do you…have you ever had a real crush on anyone?” Lance’s voice surprised Shiro. "Like, a REAL crush. Not like a basic crush where you like someone’s looks and think it would be cool to get to know them in a romantic sense but like...a crush where you want to be with someone ALL the time and hang out with them all the time and hear all their problems and never stop talking to them and just…always exist with them?"

“…Why do you ask?” Shiro said, focusing on Lance again.

“Just…wondering I guess.” Lance said quietly, still looking down.

Was this Lance opening up? Shiro decided to go along with it.

“Yeah, I’ve had a real crush on someone. I even dated them eventually. Have you ever had a real crush on anyone?”

Lance made this agitated, almost annoyed sound right before his reply. He picked himself up off the boxes and started moving his hands with his words. As if he was really trying to explain something from the bottom of his heart. “I think so? It’s all kind of hard to determine.”

Shiro stayed silent. Listening only to Lance.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed that I like to play the role of the ”ladies’ man”. I constantly hit on girls and mention loving girls but a part of me wonders if all of that is real. Some of it is definitely real, i mean i do love girls, but other times…lately…I can’t help but start to feel like…maybe I’m…you know…trying to prove something to myself and to everyone else. And maybe that's why I overdo some things... So I can prove that I’m someone that I’m…not. Just to keep the gaze on who I want myself to be. Or…who I’ve always wanted to know that I was.”

“Who are you trying to prove that you are?” Shiro said softly, unsure if he could reply at this moment or if Lance wasn’t done talking.

“I don’t know.” Lance said.

“…what does a real crush feel like?” He asked, completely abandoning Shiro’s question.

“Hmm…” Shiro searched for the right words. “It feels like…………death. It’s simultaneously the worst and best thing that could ever happen to you.”

“Ugh, Shiro” Lance groaned.

“I’m kidding. It feels like an anxious happiness. Something you love feeling and look forward to every day but something you wish would just stop happening so you could act normal around this one person for once.” Shiro made sure to keep his voice at a low soft level.

Lance listened to Shiro and waited a few seconds.

“…have you ever…had a crush on someone that you aren’t supposed to have a crush on?” Lance asked.

This was it.

“What do you mean?” Shiro was prepared.

“Like…I don’t know…like…you know how society pushes all these rules on you and makes you believe that…you know-its taboo for short guys to date tall girls and all kinds of junk like that?” Lance said, struggling to find an easily explainable analogy. “Anything like that?”

“Well…I may have been misled by things like that in my youth. Even as far as what races I was “allowed” to date.” Shiro related.

“Yeah! Yeah!” Lance said, happy that someone understood what he meant. “Like that! ……what do you do if you have a crush on someone you…aren’t supposed to have a crush on?”

“Well, you don’t have to do anything. There isn’t anyone in the universe that you aren’t allowed to have a crush on. Regardless of who they are, if you have feelings for someone, then they’re real and that’s it. Appreciate them. Soak in them. Heck, go after them.”

Lance looked troubled. “But…ugh…it’s not...it’s scary…and it’s…not who I am…or who I’m supposed to be...”

Shiro was genuinely confused by this sentence. What does he mean? Is he denying his feelings that hard? or…what is going on here?

“What’s not who you are? Who are you supposed to be?” he asked.

Lance realized what he said and paused. “Uh…nothing.” he said quickly. He tried to change the mood back to normal as if he didn’t just pour out some of his heart upon Shiro’s shoulders.

Shiro had gotten him this far though. And now he was genuinely concerned. Especially about that last part. Lance needed to talk about this. Shiro just had to do it. Just get it over with. Like ripping off a band-aid.

“Lance, I’m sorry. Can I ask you something really personal?” Shiro took the leap.

“Sure! Fire away. I got nothin to hide.” Lance was holding up the upbeat attitude he brought up again out of nowhere.

Shiro stayed silent for a few seconds. He took the time to say (Sorry, Lance. Forgive me.) in his head before he forced out his question.

“Do you have a crush on…” Shiro paused for a second, should he say Keith? Is that too straight forward? That’s too straight forward. He didn’t want to KILL Lance. “…a boy?” Shiro finished.

Lance’s smile faded quickly and his eyes stared straight ahead into Shiro’s. Lance was shocked. He was still. Shiro had guessed it.

**Author's Note:**

> I had just written some theory on how s3 would explore lance's sexuality and shiro would be the one to bond with him and you know how sometimes your mind makes up little stories and its just a movie in your head thats what this is. so it was hard to write it in you know words because i saw it visually play out but i tried. idk i wrote this just because i had an idea for a fanfic for the first time in a long time and here it is. i might come back and change it later bc this is very. early and i only wrote it yesterday but i wanted to post it while i had internet. and i could just edit from there.
> 
> i debated using like an x fill in your own character for lance's crush but i just went w keith bc i was lazy & didnt wanna think about it. im open to the idea of lance not ending up w keith so i wanted to like make that a thing in this but then i have to word around a lot and i have adhd so that sounds literally so excruciating & like a lot of work. substitute in your own guy if you want.
> 
> basically just a "what if this happened in s3" thing bc i want to believe lance will be the one that deals w sexuality.
> 
> also lance had bpd (borderline personality disorder) bc im tired of no one realizing this but headcanoning bpd traits for lance.


End file.
